Again, I am making a disclaimer. The title is funny, the message is not.
****
Wow. That's all I have to say. Wow. I mean honestly, what kind of person does this kind of stuff, makes this much drama out of nothing? I don't understand why all of a sudden I've became a super bad guy and everyone has decided to hate me. They say, "don't pick sides. don't start crap. don't spread rumors. be careful what you say." but its all crap down the drain, I mean literally, down the freaking toilet. You can't say this stuff and not mean it, because then you're a hypocrite, and that's just stupid.
Ok, so yesterday's blog was totally MISUNDERSTOOD, by a specific person, who - again - I will not name, though this time she can be absolutely sure its her. Ok, I didn't write specifically about her, I wrote about people in general, because its an obvious fact, people will backstab you if you're not careful. And I find it slightly pathetic that this person won't take my apology and will keep acting as if I'm out to get her, which is untrue. You know, she's saying that my opinions are set and that I think she's horrible, but I don't. I have nothing against her, nobody does, but now that I'm being accused of treating her badly and spreading untrue crap about her, I'm suddenly public enemy number 1.
Well you know what? I'M FED UP! I'm fed up pretending like everything that happens in my life doesn't bother me! I'm fed up acting like I'm just fine being the last one picked for EVERYTHING! I'm tired of hearing,'wanna come over?' 'sure. why are you asking so late.' 'cause i asked everyone else first and they said no.' Thanks guys, a whole lot. Well I'm not doing it anymore! I'm not letting people push me around because I'm NOT the prettiest girl in school, I'm NOT the most talented one in show choir/drama, I'm NOT the most popular person in Troy, and you know what say what you want about me, spread what you want, because I don't need to prove myself to anyone or anything! I know where I stand and if you wanna backstab me and tell me I'm worthless, DO IT, see if I care!
Those people who look down at me who call me quiet and a pushover, you don't know me so shut up. You people that pretend to be my friends then get PO'd about one little thing, get a life. I'm not a vending machine, ok? I can't give you everything whenever you ask me for it then push me around when I don't give you the thing you wanted. I'm not gonna bend down at your feet and worship the words you say and the places you've walked, I'm my own person and I'm NOT letting you control my life.
And to those people who act like you're so great because you're funny and always happy, well everyone has problems, and rejecting constructive criticism is stupid and arrogant. When someone says something about you, do you just roll your eyes and turn your shoulder, angry and offended or do you look them in the face and say thanks for the help, i needed it? Imagine what its like to be the person who's trying to help, who's trying to make sense of everything that's going on and that person just turns around and blows a casket, telling you you're low and doing things to make you feel horrible. Imagine if you kept saying sorry, that you'll fix it, that you'll do whatever you can to make it better and they just turn the other cheek and treat you like something their dog dug up from the back yard.
Imagine that you're in the same situation as me.
You try not to start drama, you try to fix drama you start, you try to help other people with their drama, but there's that one person that just won't forgive you, that just won't let it go to save a friendship, to save other people's friendships. What if that person was supposed to be one of your best friends and they just keep at it? You see em down the hall and they're talking to their other friends really loud so you hear it and it makes you feel worse, it makes you feel like you need to go beat them up or beat yourself up. It makes you wonder if maybe you shouldn't be alive because you're not important to anybody anymore.
You know, if maybe the world would just shut and listen, would stop being so conceited, would stop telling themselves they're better than others, we wouldn't ever have to feel this way, we wouldn't ever have to wonder if maybe we don't belong. How does it feel to have your friend backstab you? To have the guy you love reject you? To watch your best friend turn into a snob? To sit in the back seat your entire life because you're afraid to take the reins? Has anyone ever noticed that these things are caused by other people trying to convince you to be this way, and they're winning?
What would you do if one day those people disappeared and you had a chance to live the way you want to? You had the chance to be happy? For just a second of your life? For just a day? What would do with it?
Would live the dreams you've been hiding? Would you tell the world how you feel? Would you take a stand on what you believe in? Would you forget about your insecurities and just live? If you had just one chance to be exactly what would wanna be, would you do it?
Than do it! Don't forget where you stand! There are people in this world that will try and tear you down, that will convince you that you are nothing but pond scum on a hot day in July. They will pull at you and start drama about you. They will stop talking to you and make you feel like all the bad things in the world are your fault.
Well whoever reads this, I dare you for just a whole day to pretend like you've got a chance. I want you to go up to those people and tell them what you think, to go and show them you're not afraid anymore. For just a day forget about being insecure, forget about all the things that are bad in your life, just go and live and dream. If you're not afraid you'll stand up for what you believe in and you wont back down!
And to those of you, who are the ones starting this crap, you're the ones getting in somebody else's way, back down and shut up. You need to wake up and realize its not about you and that maybe the person whose hurt you or is "messing up your life" or is "spreading rumors and lie", listen. Just listen. Just forgive and forget, roll it off like its not a big deal, because its true, if you're bitter and hateful over stupid things, get over it. Nobody's out to get you and nobody's here to hurt you, especially me. I'm not wasting time, so why are you? You've only got so long to live and one life to live it.
Do you wanna live it hating others?
